Second Semester Sleep-Talking Roommate

Well folks, it's way overdue, but a couple different conversations lately have made me realize I realllly needed to post this! It's been far too long, and too much humor was hidden away on my computer. So here it is, without further ado! If you remember, I liked to see if I could keep Aaron talking when he would start so I would goad the conversation, so it led to some interesting conversations.

JAN 26

Please and Thank you love me.

JAN 27

(exasperated) Yeah Yeah yeah yeah. Okay, Okay, we will definitely, definitely keep that in mind.

JAN 29

I'm fine. Idk what her problem is. No big deal.

FEB 3

SHHHHHHHHHH,

Me: sorry

Ok, ok. Go away.

FEB 5

IN CHINESE ACCENT. Ohmygoshthassso funny. Haaaah. Thatssofunny.

FEB 10

Yes Ma'am, Yes Ma'am, I entirely agree.

FEB 11

Did you win? Did you win? Oh.

FEB 11

I'm doing good! I'm doing good. (begins humming Battle Hymn of the Republic while adjusting his pillows)

FEB 17

It was crazy, she, like she found out she was a cousin or something. She was a P*****, P*****, (Name Hidden) idk how to pronounce it. the family was P****, she was a math teacher. It was weird she moved to town with her family a couple years ago. They were really mysterious. She told me she was a real estate agent, and then she told someone else she was something else. They were just really weird and secretive like that. Yeah. Anyway I found she was from around here originally.

Me:  was she hot?

Oh like super hot. Super hot.

Me:  So you would have dated her?

In a Heartbeat. ........Half a heart beat. But you know you I can't do much in half a heart beat these days.

Me:  So did she have any siblings?

Idk man. I think so.

Me:  How about cat's? Do you have cats?

Yeah a couple. Idk where they are tho.

Me:  Hey Jeff just called! We gotta go man!

No.

Me:  no seriously we gotta go!

NO.

Me:  get up!

no.

Me:  come on man get up time to go!

NO!

FEB 22

OH! (Begins snapping, several times)

FEB 27

Oh its nothing. I just got a text from a girl on our worship team who got her fingers crushed or something. No big deal.

Me:  do you need to go pick her up or anything?

No no no. Nothing like that.

Me:  your're sure she doesn't need to go to the hospital?

I'm positive blake.

FEB 28

Rut Roh.

Uh Oh.

Ha. Ha.

Traffic Fuck.

Me:  What's a traffic fuck?

It's like a cluster fuck, with traffic.

Mar 28

What's going on?

Grandma! 

Me:  How's your grandma?

she's fine, but my computer.

It's all messed up.

I don't know what's wrong with it.

Mar 30

dangit.

Me:  What

The files, they're upstairs, and they're messed up

APR 1

*BELCHES*

Now what did you have to say?

APR 5

(Laying on his stomach, lifts himself into pushup position Starts singing about loving someone or something... stops and looks around.)

Me:  Seriously?

Me:  Seriously Aaron?

....Sorry...

APR 8

Yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah

MAY 4

..and then stop at the Church, and that's about it.

That's enough singing.

I've heard enough.

Me:  That's good

Yeah they put salt on the floor. Like ice salt. and You know how tough it is to clean that stuff up. 

It sticks to everything.

My Sleep-Talking Roommate

So this was my first semester of college. I was extremely excited. I was looking forward to the change of scenery, new friends and the whole "college experience". I was also excited to spend the year with my roommate, whom I've been friends with for several years and was from a town 40 miles away. Well I can comfortably say that it has been an enjoyable semester, and while there have been ups and downs, entire experience has been very positive. Aaron and I have gotten along well, even if he has to deal with my taste in movies and my general clutter, yet one thing I hadn't foreseen, was Aaron's tendency to talk in his sleep. I started writing things down a few weeks into school, sadly, having forgotten and missed several funny things in those early days. A little while later I began to put dates to these conversations. Finally I began to experiment with his sleep-talking state. What follows is my list of these statements in it's entirety.

The things Aaron said are just the regular sentences, while my statements are in parentheses, and other bits of information are noted by *stars.*

------------

Oh my God! I'm so sorry! Oh my gosh you have no idea how embarrassed I am, like seriously I'm so....*realizes that he's still in bed*.
(You're crazy man.)

IT wasn't me! Keep talking, sorry, wasn't me keep talking.

Its a great year, I'm really looking forward to it. And to see you! Now that I'm closer!

Vocal music at the church!?

OCT24
Uh Huh. Ok, I don't know about the dates right now, but can you email the dates to me? .... Okay... um ... Ok we can talk later.

OCT24
*panicky*... Get them off!.... What?!... k just go..

OCT27
Stop, Stop, Let's go back through that part but louder.

OCT27
NO NO NO NO NO NO.... The snowflakes are going through the porcelain!. It's gonna get cold in here.

NOV2
Did I forget Fame last night? At 46444.... I need food to see them.

NOV2
Hi! How are you? It's been so long since I've seen you, it's sad.

NOV4
HEY, will you hold on for a second? I'll be right back.... WHOA!!!!

NOV10
Sitsup and points at the TV where i'm watching a movie. OH NO!
(What?)
The boards! They're coming out!
(You were sleep talking again Aaron.)
No I wasn't.
.......
Yes I was.

NOV10
Did you dig through all the stuff to find it?
(Yes. Dig through what to find what?)
I don't know......*Snore*

NOV10
I eat at the penetentiary alot. It's for my mom. We eat there pretty often. I know. Don't judge me. It's nice I don't know what you're talking about.

NOV13
Oh yeah! Yeah, she with uh... I think.. uh.. I think she's with a Britton boy now... Nice gal.. real nice.

NOV13
SHHHHH! What the heck was that?

NOV16
Hahahahaha... *sigh*

NOV18
I love this song.
(Yeah?)
(sits up) OH sorry! I'll turn it down, it's so loud and you're trying to sleep.
(Turn what down Aaron?)
The music, I.... oh.. It was just playing in my head... I thought..... the ipod.. sorry, nevermind.

NOV24
Hey, Hey hey, Hey, Hey That's what I'm taking. Hey. That's exactly what I'm taking. Hey. It's nothing to worry about. Hey. Hey. It's fine.
(Are you talking on the phone?... hey... Aaron?... you awake?)
Sorry I just got a text from my friend who's gonna be in intermediate algebra, and I'm just like it's not a big deal, I'm in it too, but she's just freaking out. I don't know what her problem is. It's not a big deal I'm gonna be in it too. But she's just freaking out. I don't know.
(So you called her back?)
No she just texted me.
(But then why were you talking?)
What are you talking about?
(You were just talking out loud. Did you call her?)
No I wasn't talking to her. I don't know what you're talking about.
(Ok Aaron.)
**I asked Aaron the next day who he got the text from, and he didn't recall any of it. He checked his phone and there was no text. Basically the whole thing was a dream and I just joined in. This would probably have to be about the most complete conversation we've had while he was asleep so far.**

NOV24
You do what you can...

DEC5
I'll go around the world!

DEC13
How was Mom thinking?

DEC14
I have one of these emails!



So there it is. Many people have been looking forward to this post for a long time. I plan to do a follow up next semester. If you enjoyed this, share the link with a friend!